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Book Review
Reviewed: 12 January 2025

How to Be Enough: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists

by: Ellen Hendriksen, Ph.D.

  • Rating: full starfull starfull starfull starstar outline (4/5)

I am worthy just as I am

We’ve heard a lot about self-care recently and some may not allow themselves to indulge, lapsing into guilt because they feel they should be doing something else. Some may be cast in a role based on family expectations, perceived or real. This book has that plus more that I would imagine everyone could identify with at least in some small way. The tone is somewhat light and that is on purpose. The stories are enlightening, relatable and entertaining. A few key takeaways for me, paraphrasing a bit, were 

  • Make room for rest and things that bring joy
  • Hold problems lightly as they are apart of the whole package which is you
  • If you need you were enough, what would you do with your life?
  • Things don’t have to be all or nothing 

There are clinical studies referenced along with societal triggers and such but while they land the point, the book does not feel preachy nor like you’re being lectured nor even studied. I came away with lots of food for thought about my own life and relationships. I imagine that even those who don’t see themselves as self-critics nor perfectionist, will come away from this book with their food for thoughts.

Thank you to #NetGalley and #StMartinsPress for the opportunity to do an early read and share my thoughts on the story. 

Happy Reading!

Release Date: 7-January-2025
Audiobook, NetGalley, Self-Help, Psychology

Plot Summary

Are you your own toughest critic? Learn to be good to yourself with this clear and compassionate guide.

Do you set demanding standards for yourself? If so, a lot likely goes well in your life: You might earn compliments, admiration, or accomplishments. Your high standards and hard work pay off.

But privately, you may feel like you’re falling behind, faking it, or different from everybody else. Your eagle-eyed inner quality control inspector highlights every mistake. You try hard to avoid criticism, but criticize yourself. Trying to get it right is your guiding light, but it has lit the way to a place of dissatisfaction, loneliness, or disconnection. In short, you may look like you’re hitting it out of the park, but you feel like you’re striking out.

This is perfectionism. And for everyone who struggles with it, it’s a misnomer: perfectionism isn’t about striving to be perfect. It’s about never feeling good enough.

Dr. Ellen Hendriksen—clinical psychologist, anxiety specialist, and author of How to Be Yourself—is on the same journey as you. In How to Be Enough, Hendriksen charts a flexible, forgiving, and freeing path, all without giving up the excellence your high standards and hard work have gotten you. She delivers seven shifts—including from self-criticism to kindness, control to authenticity, procrastination to productivity, comparison to contentment—to find self-acceptance, rewrite the Inner Rulebook, and most of all, cultivate the authentic human connections we’re all craving.

With compassion and humor, Hendriksen lays out a clear, effective, and empowering guide. To enjoy rather than improve, be real rather than impressive, and be good to yourself when you’re wired to be hard on yourself.